The Social ‘Glitch’

I have this weird thing… maybe you can relate, or maybe you have your own weird thing.

It’s about being ‘nice,’ people-pleasing, and taking that tendency too far.

I’ve got this strong desire to be equally ‘nice’ to others. As in, if I treat someone one way, I feel like I have to treat everyone that way. Sometimes to the point of ridiculousness.

It doesn’t happen with close friends or family. I’m easily discerning there.

And it doesn’t happen with total strangers. But in that murky gray area of acquaintances, I find it much trickier.

Many years ago, when I was part of a team that finished a large, intense project, the client took us out for a lovely twilight cruise around Sydney Harbour to celebrate.

After the cruise, as we were leaving, their lead team member and I had a small hug and kiss on the cheek.

It was spontaneous and felt normal; we’d worked closely together for months.

But then, as the rest of their team was saying goodbye, I felt this strange pressure.

Even though I’d only spoken with some of them on the phone and didn’t really know them, I thought I should give each of them a hug too. It seemed like the thing to do.

So I did.

Looking back, I realize it wasn’t necessary, and it was probably just uncomfortable for them! It felt awkward the second I started, but once I was in it, it felt even weirder to stop. It certainly wasn’t “polite.”

I felt stupid and self-conscious afterward. Like I’d taken the concept of treating everyone the same way too far.

I’m getting better at allowing myself to follow my own discernment, but still.

Being on Substack is helping. It gives me a place to practice being different with different connections.

Thank you for reading. 🫶

Have you had any awkward moments where you over-functioned or did something kind of ridiculous because you thought you ‘should’?

Do share… please! 😅