Same Coffee Date, Different Story

A reflection on how mood and mindset can transform how we see others.

As we were leaving a group setting, a friend I’d made plans to have coffee with invited another person from the group along to join us on our coffee date.

I was astounded that my friend had invited someone else without consulting me first.

The other person didn’t come, but I was still feeling put out, almost personally offended.

I remember thinking: why did they invite them?

It changes the dynamics to have a third person. I thought it was just going to be us catching up, why didn’t you even check first if I minded if you invited them? I mean, I would have checked with you first before inviting someone else.

I was feeling and thinking quite self-righteously.

I was right, they were wrong.

They shouldn’t have invited that person.

Now, a few days later, I’m in a fabulous mood and the situation came to my mind.

This time, as I thought about it from my current perspective, I realized how ridiculous my (silent) complaints had been.

It seemed such an absurd, minor thing to be offended by. So what if they invited someone else along? They were simply being kind and inclusive, and maybe they thought we’d all get along well (we probably would have).

Most importantly, the fact that they invited another person did not mean anything about me!

The invitation wasn’t made to snub me or make my company any less important (which is the lens I was seeing it through the other day).

I can see it so clearly now. No big deal at all.

It wasn’t personal in any way whatsoever.

This is a tiny example, but it applies to everything.

A fresh perspective—often just from a change in mood—literally changes how you experience life.

Same coffee date, same friend, completely different story in my head.

Thank you for reading. 🫶

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Have you experienced this, where you were offended in a moment and then later saw it from another, kinder perspective?

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