22 Comments
User's avatar
Tony Mette Aamodt's avatar

Well done Susan. People can really steal your energy and you very often end up exhausted . It’s not worth giving such people any attention. Protect yourself from it❣️

Susan Elizabeth's avatar

Thank you, Tony. Yes, that’s it, isn’t it, we end up exhausted. I’m just glad I realized what was happening. Thanks so much for your thoughtful comment. πŸ™πŸ’—

Moorea Maguire's avatar

Well done. I can't stand people who talk about _anything_ nonstop, regardless of their energy. If I wanted to hear a monologue, I'd go to the theatre.

Susan Elizabeth's avatar

ha ha… love that, Moorea, β€˜..I’d go to the theatre’!!! πŸ˜‚ … and it’s so true! We don’t go out to lunch to hear someone drone on and get fired up about stuff! Thanks for commenting and sharing your humor, it’s so appreciated.πŸ’•

Moorea Maguire's avatar

I’m happy to listen to someone get fired up about something, but please, shut your mouth once in a while to give others a chance to speak. πŸ™„πŸ˜†

Susan Elizabeth's avatar

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

Lisa Di Capua's avatar

I've glommed onto that bit about "the" perfectionism, Susan. We own it if we call it ours, and that makes perfect sense.

I love how you described the lunch situation. Seeing how it was playing out and consciously choosing to remain outside of it. But also noticing when you stepped in, even if you may have regretted it later. Beautifully written.

Susan Elizabeth's avatar

Thank you so much, Lisa! I really appreciate your reflection. You’ve so accurately described how that lunch situation felt. I somehow feel as if you and I are on a similar wavelength. It’s a nice feeling.πŸ’—βœ¨

Lisa Di Capua's avatar

Yes, we may be...maybe learning similar things about ourselves on a matching timeline. It's nice to know there's someone else who 'gets' me and what I'm trying to put into words! Thank you! 🀍🩷🀍

Susan Elizabeth's avatar

πŸ€—πŸ’—

Humanity's Future's avatar

This was a Christmas lunch. How very self-centered of this person, to steal everyone’s joy at the occasion. This is an energy vampire. Good for you, Susan, for protecting your energy and not giving them the audience they demanded.

Susan Elizabeth's avatar

Thank you, Susan.πŸ’• It’s funny (well maybe not funny but kind of surprising), but I don’t think the others at the table were uncomfortable. Many of them seemed so engaged.

I’ve heard the term β€˜energy vampire’ but really hadn’t thought much about what that is. Maybe that’s what I experienced. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts, they’re much appreciated. πŸ™β˜ΊοΈ

Humanity's Future's avatar

You’re welcome, Susan. :)

Capry Cains's avatar

I feel hearing a rant is a rant in itself

I don't understand why people rant in a function or in a gathering.

They don't understand, a rant is more exhaustive than a rage.

Involving others and putting them through the pain (rant) takes out all the energy.

Add to it , it plays on the mind for a long time.

No wonder , you were exhausted .

I can imagine it.

πŸ’“

Susan Elizabeth's avatar

Yes, that’s exactly it, Capry! It does take out all the energy, and so true, it also plays on the mind for a long time. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts on this, I always enjoy reading your insights. πŸ™πŸ’•

Capry Cains's avatar

Thank you my dear Susan.

πŸ’“

Leanne | crestingthehill's avatar

Hi Sue - this reminded me of the drama that I dealt with daily in my toxic job. Not anger like this, but intense emotion that demanded engagement and validation. It really is exhausting when you're caught up in it, and so hard to create emotional space anywhere near it. You did well to hold some distance and not get too sucked into the vortex. I'm glad that I don't deal with it anymore, and I'm hyper-vigilant when I encounter it - my mind just screams "run away!" Hopefully you'll be clear of any more of it as Christmas arrives on the horizon. :)

Susan Elizabeth's avatar

Hi Leanne. Yes, I can imagine dealing with that daily would be so exhausting! I like the way you put it, β€˜..so hard to create emotional space..’ that describes it well. I too am hyper-vigilant about it now. I thought later about what I could have done in the moment (not much other than possibly leave the table to go to the bathroom). Thanks so much for your comment. πŸ’—πŸ’«

James Ballantyne's avatar

Yes, all the time... A kind of self absorption personal victimhood story to dictate energy.....and transferr it to get sympathy ot allieship....

Exchart Tolle talks about it as the pain body...the one that wants attention....

Well done you...for staying present in yourself in the moment...

I've had similar Christmas lunch drama this week too....this was timely....

Thank you for all your writing and inspiring this year Susan, may you and yours have a happy Christmas x

Susan Elizabeth's avatar

Thank you, James, I appreciate your comment and what you've shared.

Yes, the pain body! ...I hadn't actually thought of that, but you're right, that's really what it was. Sorry to hear you too had some Christmas lunch drama.. sometimes it makes me want to hibernate.

And thanks for the good wishes, I hope you too have a happy Christmas season. πŸŽ„πŸ’•

Simone β€’ The Wild to Live's avatar

I'm glad you posted the original. I 100% know this situation and it's exhausting, both to participate in and remain neutral. I think this time of year is full of these conversations and the more grounded we are in ourselves, the better we can protect our energy. Thanks for sharing πŸ’«βœ¨οΈ

Susan Elizabeth's avatar

Thanks so much for your thoughtful comment, Simone. You're right, this time of year is especially full of these conversations! Also thank you for sharing that quote.πŸ™πŸ©·